Breaking Free from Attachments: How to Balance Your Mind and Heart

Dr.Mennatallah Elwan
Sep 2
2 min read

Some of you might be familiar with attachment theory and the types of attachments we can get in.

the fact we all can be the four types : [Secure - anxious - avoidant - disorgnized] depends on the level of your infatuation and how much you are blindsided to the negatives of what you are in.

Attachments happen when we perceive only the positive side of something while ignoring the negative. When we focus on the benefits and suppress the drawbacks, we become one-sided—and that’s when the fear of loss takes over.

It’s human nature—the “animal brain”—to seek comfort, pleasure, and support, driven by happiness hormones. But when we don’t get enough, we crave more and more.

A great meal at a restaurant makes you want to return again and again.
A relationship where you only see the positives makes you afraid of change or separation.
A comfortable job can make you resist growth because challenges feel unsafe.

Yet, true growth happens on the edge of discomfort, challenge, and transformation.

The Cycle of Attachment

Here’s how attachment typically develops:

Honeymoon Phase (Attraction): You see something as exciting, new, and positive.
Infatuation: You believe you lack this quality, so you project it onto the person or thing.
Joyful Stuckness: You become one-sided, blind to the downsides.
Fear of Losing: Anxiety grows, and you’re willing to sacrifice too much to keep it.
Addictive Attachment & Identification: You tie your worth to it—whether a person, job, possession, or habit—and feel lost without it.

This is why attachment often leads to feeling stuck, unworthy, and grieving losses.

A Simple Exercise to Release Attachment

Next time you feel attached to someone or something, grab a pen and paper.

If it’s a person, list their downsides:
- Not always supportive
- Different social level
- Sometimes selfish
- Not proactive
- Short-tempered
If it’s a thing, list the drawbacks:
- Costs too much money
- Adds debt to your credit card
- Short lifespan
- You may get bored with it